Maybe baby?

I came across a journal SB & I had while we were working at petsmart together & I got curious what was said & how me 3 years ago used to think and write. Interestingly enough, it sent me back to this aryatny. I hella forgot I had a wordpress. jeezus! thank god some things are still up on the internet. however, for ex., xanga (obey your thizz & mahj is thee coolest 8) retired. everything that was written is gone. WHY!

that’s my childhood gone! thanks much xanga.

anyways maybe i’ll come back on here consistently. i’m thinking i should so at least my friends and family and even I can look back at memories.

Anyways got clinicals tomorrow and gotta work out before that. Oh yea, I’m in nursing school ;P

Samuel Merritt University yee.


diet: it’s on.

So I made a deal with Paolo: “GET TAKEN 2012, GET SEXY 2012” hehe.
He suggested that I be particular about what I consume.  So this will begin my daily diet log.


  • cherry roll,  6 pcs.
  • oyster, 2 pcs.
  • hot tea, 3 cups
  • water, 2 glasses
  • green tea ice cream (eeeecks! atleast i didn’t finish it (: )

Exercise: walked 2 miles with Ate & Tichon.


pansit canton, the $0.49 each.

  • hot chocolate, 1 sm. cup, non-fat/no whip
  • water, 1 bottle & orange juice, 1 glass

I’m happy to inform you, Mr. WP & readers, that I have been offered a full-time position at Mercy Housing, SF–the company that will be taking over St. Anthony’s.  I still haven’t informed Alex (PS, Man.) about me having to leave by the end of the year.  I will wait a little because everyone has been quitting/dropping like flies! literally. Melissa & Joe left, and now Cindy will be leaving within the next 3 weeks. wah! ):  I also feel bad because he actually will be putting me in the salon.  Usually I’d be looking forward to buying rainboots for the salon, but because I know that I’m leaving, I’m not looking forward to it anymore. I can’t buy my boots. /:

Even though it’s more fun at PS, I know that the position at Mercy will be paying me more, give me benefits, and it’s beneficial in a way that I can do my homeworks here as I work since theres so much downtime (like now!)

Allright, time to start on my project due in 2 weeks.

All the best,

P.S. I think I’ll be buying me a personalized scrub cap. not for halloween. but for fun. (:

Come already, Spring 2012!

So I’ll be bulking up on science courses! I’m so excited.  Been ready for “HARD SCIENCE” ahehhe!

I’ll be taking BIOL 250 – Human Anatomy
BIOL 240 – Microbiology
CHEM 410 – Chemistry for Health Sciences

lehhhhgo! that’s full-time babes! ah yes. & Mercy Housing is asking me to take the full-time position, graveyard shift.  I hope this works out well..

essssited! its GOLD!

you’ll never know it’s driving me crazy

Each time, it just gets harder and harder.  More and more that weight that suddenly falls onto my chest.  I feel the choke rising upwards on my neck.  And theres nothing to stop it.  Its inevitable and theres nothing I could do to prepare for it.  Because just a moment beforehand, I was smiling, pretty excited.  Thought: “Time for business.”  But no.  In the end, emotions prevail over any sensible mentality you train yourself to think.  I keep saying “It’s ok, this is just a ‘see you later’ and I’ll be back home soon.” But it just isn’t fair when so many people that I love and care for, are only available during this vacation time.  It could be a year, two, or even three before I see them again.  That is time ticking.

I know that we live to progress in life, to work for something, to thrive for success, but it’s ironic that we work to earn money, so that we can go on vacations to see our family once again, when we’re already here.  What’s the point?

If I could move mountains, I would do anything to bring the Philippines so much closer, and less expensive to get there.

I personally think family comes first.  My family, in particular, I strongly believe is one of a kind.  We are composed of one grandma, a beautiful queen; four comic but responsible uncles, two aunts (one of which is my mom), fourteen grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren.  We are so tightly knit.  But even life gets in between things.

It was unfortunate that some differences became apparent and worsened as days gone by.  But in time, as so in evidence, everything fell right to place.

My mom and her siblings [Tito Jun, Daddy Bong, Tito Anoy, Tita Eve, and Tito Jess] are the strongest power team of people that I know of, by example.  My first cousins [Kuya Bok, Kuya Bing, Kuya Kulo, Ate Tin, Kuya Ton, Chino, Mico, Ken, Didoy, Bogsy, Patet, and Jeko] are so effortlessly thoughtful, funny as hell, and know how to have a good time.  My godchildren [Bubu, Ging Ging, and Brian] are the most adorable, carefree, sweet, and joyful angels! Most important of all, my grandmother, Mama Tina, is the most beautiful woman I know.  I’ve said this plenty of times before, and I’ll continue to sing it throughout my life: this woman is so beautiful.  She is the glue, the essence of this family.  She symbolizes everything I can be, and everything I can accomplish.  You can see it in her sparkling eyes and smile.  The distinctive vibrance of her voice and the warmth I feel when she hugs me.  I remember as a baby, even in my toddler years, she tossed me right on top of her as she lay on the bed and sing songs to me.  I would look at her from above and I knew this is where I belong, this is where I am welcome, this is my home.

Leaving the Philippines, leaving my family, leaving her is the ultimate HARDEST thing I ever have to do.  Only God knows if she’ll be with us next year, or the year after, or the year after that, the next five years.  But what scares me the most is NOT KNOWING if she’ll be there the next time I can come home again.  I’m scared to death that the last time I hugged and kissed her is really the last time I’ll be able to hug and kiss her.  It’s showing that she’s aging, that she’s getting old, and I can’t bare to lose her.  I can’t bare to think of her passing.  I’m gonna need her to be there when I get married.  I’m gonna need her to toss my child on top of her and sing songs and make them feel and assure them that she is their home.  I’m gonna need her to love them.

I’m gonna need my mom to get excited and make weird songs and noises to make my baby laugh and smile.  I’m gonna need my uncles to be funny, and tough so as to be the protector that my kids will feel secure.  I’m gonna need my grandma to dance, holding both hands, to my kid that just learned how to stand themselves up.

I promise myself that when I have kids, I’m gonna let them loose to the family.  No sheltering.  I’m gonna let them loose to my uncles, aunts, my grandma, my mom, my cousins because by doing that, the more people will love my kids. And the more my kids experience love, the happier they’ll be.  The more blessings they’ll have.  The more assurance that the world isn’t a cold and uncertain place, that the world is their playground and they can make anything of it.

Please lord, look after my family and friends in the Philippines.  I can’t lose them.  I’ll need them.  Please protect them from all forms of evil and continue to bless us with all life has to offer.

I hope this heartache goes away soon.  Deal with work, finish school, get my career started, just so I can see my family again.  Leave them, just to see them again.  Doesn’t make sense.. does it?


I am finally home in the Philippines, at last!

We left at 10:55pm from SFO and arrived to Ninoy Aquino International Airport at 3:55am — that’s 12:55pm in the U.S.! FYI: Philippine time is 15 hours ahead of Pacific Standard Time.  My iPhone4 is on Airplane mode and I deactivated all my Push Notifications & Email accounts connected to my iPhone– I hope this won’t charge me for Roaming.  Just want to be able to take pictures and videos & what not.

Anyways! The flight was pretty good–the landing was soooo SMOT (smooth) ! We went to my Tito Jun’s house, Tito Jess & Tita Eve picked us up.  I swear Tito Jun is hilarious–he’s the eldest, most responsible, successful (monetarily), & funny as heck.  He really kept the “Kid At Heart.” Longan (which I mistaken for Lychee) is  soooo yummy!  Oh, btw, I screamed out of nowhere “WOOT WOOT!!!!! YEEHEE! WE’RE HOME!”

We left & got Subway, which isn’t the same.  It isn’t as good here, but then we also got mais (corn) on the side when we were on the way from Manila to Nueva Ecija/Cabanatuan City.  We stopped by the farm, which we call “Soledad” (it’s 100 hectors, which is huuuuge, and sections belong to each of my mom and her siblings).

I got jetlag so bad, so when we were on the road, I KO’ed a few times.  We finally arrived home, and you CANNOT believe how excited I was to see my Mama Tina (my grandma, she’s turning 80 on Sunday!)

We got in and I came in and hugged her on the couch for a long time, so happy! She started to shed tears of joy! (((: We’re complete again.

Idk exactly what is ahead of us, but all I know is that we have 18 days here, or less, and I’m gonna make the most out of it! I love it, so excited! I miss REDHORSE–best believe, we will be hittin’ that shit up soon!  Unfortunately I don’t think I’ll be able to see Paolo or anything! wah! But we’re gonna push to go to Palawan!!!! heygirlhey!

Time to take my daily nap! Adios!

Just realized: I’m not working double today!

It has been several months that I didn’t work double days! Usually every friday, I work at Madonna 7am-3pm, and then Petsmart 4pm-10pm.  But I looked at my schedule last night before I went to bed and whaddayaknow? I’m off from PS today! woooooohoooo i seriously needed this.  I’m going home after work to work out ( which i haven’t done in so long! ) then maybe hang out with Francis, maybe mentor, and I DEFINITELY want to shop!!! howluh!

I haven’t even packed for the Philippines yet.  My mom’s been stressing me over her post-bankruptcy stuff and It was hell working with her all morning til’ 6pm yesterday.  That shit is whack. Well, we got it all done.  Bad news is that 1. I didn’t get to finish my last project for this week for Barangay Marketing/Recruitment and, 2. I didn’t get to go to Davis this week with SB before her school starts.  We planned to go to the campus to explore a little before school but work has and everything else has been consuming me. Seriously consuming me. It’s okay, I’ll come visit you soon, love! When I come back from Philippines (october 13).

I talked to Alex, my manager at PS, and I requested to go to the salon when I come back from the Philippines.  I want to do this so badly! If this happens for me I’ll really stay with PetSmart foreverrrrrr. ha kidding– i meant for a lengthy time.

I’m working at Madonna right now, munching on this salad (lettuce, tomatoe, onions, corn, and chicken breasts)so yummy right now.  I also brought from home, Red Grapefruit in a cup! Oh which reminds me– I donated blood yesterday! Hooray for saving a life (or atleast, contributing to it)! 

I really can’t wait to go to the Philippines.  I can’t believe it’s coming already! Next week, can YOU believe? ah! I still haven’t gotten the little ones anything.  I was thinking of getting them shoes, but they might hate them.  Or hate the ones I pick for them.  I was thinking of getting them J’s. ;PPPPPP howboutthat! NinangJordan–the best ninang ever. hehehe jk.

Okay, well it’s time to start on HW; I have my first test eval. due on Tuesday so this, I must get out of the way during work.  Hopefully it’ll speed things up over here. 

Adios muchachos!

theres something about when you call

Even though it’s been days (this time it was 5), and even when all the resentment and anger and frustrations builds up inside–there is just something about when you call me.  I have no idea what it is– maybe it’s just seeing your name on my phone, or just acknowledging that you think of me, but there is just something about it that I cannot explain.  All my negative feelings of resentment and frustration sheds away. 
Happy birthday on the 11th.  And I’m sorry I didn’t invite you again to the Giants game.  (playing all dalaga pilipina!)

M: Hey
Me: Yo. (believe me, I wanted to say “WHAT” hehe)
M: We’ve been MIA
Me: I’ve been lettin  you do you. you say you’re busy and all. we could make things happen if we wanted to.  I’m leaving soon though. Imma just lay off..
M: Trust me when I say this but I have been super busy.  Going back and forth to schools, work, clubs at school, family.  I’m having a really hard time juggling everything.
Me: What do you want me to do? We don’t talk for days at a time. Don’t leave me tryna figure out if you’re still in this whatever the heck we’re doing.  Tell me, what do you want me to do? Should I be patient and stick around or is it just not gonna go anywhere. I don’t want to waste my time.  And this  might sound gay but it takes 2 to tango and I’m down to dane, you already know.

**and then he calls.  And then everything goes away.  An hour conversation on the phone, updated me with how his birthday went, asked how come I didn’t call him on his birthday, and how come I didn’t invite him to the Giants game and how it was my perfect opportunity on his birthday to call him to hang out/go to the Giants game. haha! He’s so girly! jeesh.  I explained to him that I didn’t wanna bug him, that usually he calls me and whenever I call him he never picks up, and that I know he’s busy, etc. and then we started laughing about how when I impersonate what he last said about how he has to spend time with family and friends on his birthday–my tone of voice  changes and it sounds deeper & what not and it doesn’t even sound like him. LOL

Ugh, he makes me smile anyday man.  I love that SB said she hopes me and him get together.  So did Jerika! So funny! She was like “omg marijoy can you get with him please?!” LOL. *sigh if only it were that easy.

Surprisingly enough, he’s got a solid sense of self-worth and I just love that about him.  He tells me stories of when girls try to get at him, and trust there are NUMEROUS stories–esp. on his birthday! ex(s): 1. There was this girl that was dancing with him at a club, and she was all drunk and kept trying to kiss him and he kept dodging it.  His friends asked him if he was gay.

There, I’ve finally put in my (lovestruck) cents. (:

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